Journal

May 2026 was one for the ages. In terms of depression, it wasn't the worst I've been in a long time, not even the worst month this year. As I've said in a previous journal piece, the start of 2026 saw me in the throws of suicidal ideation, struggling with work, lacrosse, and everything else. Ironically, May 2026 was (at time of writing) the least worst mental health month I've had this this year.

Trigger warning: This blog post includes reference to Mental Illness , Depression , and Suicidal Ideation . If you are struggling with mental health there are a list of numbers and resources at the bottom of this article. It's ok to not be ok. Support is available, and you are worth it. In episode 1 of this however many episode long saga, I talked about a dog named Freya, and an illness called depression. In episode 2, Freya gets more expensive, and depression continues to

Freya arrived at my house, her home, on the 17th of June in 2022. She was the runt of her litter (now 50kg/110lbs) and had needed surgery on her eyes to correct a condition called entropion. She was the sweetest little thing... for about a week. Freya, you see, had horrendous separation anxiety. Crate training failed, trainer visits and work with specialist vets did little to ease her suffering. I was heartbroken. But we persisted, I wasn't raising a quitter. Months of her ru